So, you’re at that age now when most of your disposable income goes on engagement presents, wedding presents, buck’s nights, baby showers, christening gifts and first birthdays; welcome to the club.

Sorry, but you’ve got a few more years of this before your credit card can take a rest. And until you meet Fair Lady and have your own engagement-pre-wedding-wedding-long-and drawn-out hoorah that means you are legally bound forever, you’ve got to play ball.

And when you do, you’ll probably get Egyptian cotton sheets, a tea set you will never use yet will hand down to generations, and occasionally something you actually like. But unlike your parents, you won’t get three toasters, a Teasmade (ask your mother) and more towels than you can ever use in a lifetime; usually in brown and purple.

However, ain’t modern life wonderful? You are getting married so it is time for all those other smug marrieds to pony up with the gifts. It’s payday.

But how do you do this without seeming like a self-serving tight bastard who is basically insisting everyone pay for their attendance at your nuptials?

This way:

Don’t book a wedding you cannot afford. Your parents and hers may put up a bit of cash but would you rather put down the deposit on a house (or another house) or have what is essentially A DAY OF STUFF?

Don’t make guests pay for their attendance. These people love you. They’ve already spent money on a new outfit, a taxi there and back and a thoughtful gift. If they are really lucky, then an interstate or overseas trip, hotels and flights. So please do not EVER ask for money, even if it’s in a “cute” poem with your invitation. Sure, no one needs a washing machine as much as a newly married couple these days but paying for their honeymoon/crack habit/your meal and drinks at their reception is really just a bridge too far.

Wedding Registries. Wow, these are painful. By all means have one — sent to very close friends and family, but if you or your partner know the people you’ve invited to your wedding, they will be able to buy you and your lady-person a lovely gift without any direction. Trust the process.

Make it FUN. These people whom you love so much have spent money and energy on this day and want to enjoy this event as much as (hopefully) you. Yes, you are marrying the Love of Your Life. It’s very important and significant. But it should not involve everyone hanging around, struggling to get a taxi to the next place or getting smashed in the nearest pub. For money.

Have fun. Nothing is more fun than another person having fun. You’re getting married, not being shot. Take heed . . .


© The West Australian

More wedding inspiration at The West Australian Wedding Guide.